Lesson 32

I went back to work today, I've had a week full of fun, rest and plenty of sleep and I certainly haven't had to get up before 3am! Obviously when my alarm went off this morning, it was a bit of a shock.

I decided to say affirmations to myself over and over again to make the transition from holiday mode to work mode easier. I said over and over again 'I am not tired' and 'I am happy to have a job, I am grateful for the money it provides'  Although I did slip up once when someone asked me how I was, I replied in an auto pilot way 'I'm tired' As soon as I said it though I felt bad, it was almost as if a wave of negatively flooded over me. It sounds so bizarre but I actually felt awash with a dirty and negative vibe that threatened to take me off track. It genuinely was that powerful.

Lesson 32 is to tell myself that 'I have invented the world I see'. It's an introduction in exploring cause and effect and also identifying the inner world (your mind) and the outer world are the same. If I let something bother me then it will bother me in my mind and also in the real world. Although it is hard to do, I have tried to stop having feelings of resentment towards certain people, but it's so difficult when the hurt has run so deep. The only way to improve the situation is to change your thinking of it. One person in particular I thought before was being brutal to me, I now think differently about the situation, I actually feel sorry for her, I now understand her anger and dislike of me is her issue and not mine. Her feelings are hers and not mine. I also don't want to be or feel like a victim, I want to feel empowered and the only way you can do this is by taking control of your emotions.

Today all in all has been good, I have gushed to anyone who would listen about how wonderful Dublin is and I have been boring people on how I am itching to return to Ireland as soon as possible.

I am making small steps but my energy is higher than its been in a long while and even though my holiday is over I am radiating positive energy.