Lesson 106

Lesson 106 is about keeping calm and ignoring your ego.

In everyday circumstances this is now simple, I can identify most of the times when my ego is screaming at me. But as soon as something a little bit more than an everyday annoyance rears its ugly head it's a battle for me to keep the ego quite. I am better now at identifying it so I am making progress. But I still have flashes of choosing the ego over my calmness.

The more progress and lessons taken then I am holding it will then become second nature to never lesson to ego.

Lesson 105

I continue on the theme of happiness. Todays lesson is about peace and joy.

These last few days have been repetitive and although I don't mind that, I do find my mind is wondering from the lessons as I don't feel I am exploring any new concepts. Perhaps the point of the repetitiveness is to make putting happiness first second nature.

Is it becoming second nature for me? In small ways yes, but I haven't taken any big leaps away from everything that doesn't bring me peace. I was having a lunch with a friend the other day and we were discussing changing careers. I had so many excuses on why I couldn't at the moment make that leap. I have a child, I have a mortgage, I have other huge bills and the list of reasons why went on and on.

Should I be responsible yet not at peace or should I be trusting that everything will work out if I follow my heart?

I will continue the lessons and see if it becomes clear. 

Lesson 104

Today's lesson continues on the theme of happiness and tells us that joy and peace are our right.

This is what I have learnt today....

Make sure your happiness comes from within, never ever rely on anything outside to make you happy. Anything on the outside can be taken away at any moment, but you control the inside and that will always be yours.

Once you live by that, nothing will be able to trouble you or control your emotions.

Lesson 103

Lesson 103 explains the connection between love and happiness. They are intertwined and everything in your daily life should be done with love.

If all of your actions are done with love, then there is no room for anything else.

I usually react quickly to many things that annoy me so today rather than acting in anger or fear, I have taken a moment to react with goodness and it is incredible what a difference it makes. Everything just seems easier, there are no disagreements or lingering bad feelings.

Today has been relatively straight forward, I haven't had any huge issues or anything too challenging so when I am faced with something that usually triggers a negative reaction I will see how I cope! 

Lesson 102

Lesson 102 starts with the line 'You do not want to suffer'

This may seem obvious, but there have been so many times I thought the easy option was to stay in a negative mood and keep being grumpy or even miserable.

Lifting yourself from a negative to positive mood is relatively easy so why is it so addictive to stay down in the dumps?

Every where I go people are moaning, I am as guilty as the next person, but why is it our way to be negative rather than seeing the good.

I have been trying all day to look at the positives in every single situation and it actually feels very uplifting.  Every time something goes wrong or I see something I could moan at I only see the positives, it is hard because venting your frustration feels good too! But long term focusing on the positives is much healthier.

I will try not to slip back into my old negative ways, but oh it does feel good to have a good old moan every now and again, so I will secretly miss it!

Lesson 101

As I mentioned yesterday, todays lesson continues on the theme of happiness. Lesson 101 goes one step further and reminds us that there is no sin.

I am learning to say no to anything that unbalances me but equally I am saying yes to things that do make me happy. I am finding that doing this as much as I can, I am finding my energy has been raised and I am a lot happier. I am also finding as a result I am enjoying my own company more. I am able to go on walks on my own, sit on my own in a park or just sit quietly. It's not that I couldn't do it before, but I found that I was filling up my days seeing people and not enjoying my own company. I was clearly unhappy with my own thoughts therefore doing anything possible to avoid them.

This period of the lessons stays on the theme of happiness and so far it's lifting my moods greatly.

Lesson 100

Lesson 100 is about happiness and trying to keep a state of happiness at all times regardless of the situation.

It takes courage to be happy when things aren't going well, I admire people who do. There have been, in the past, situations where I have seen people who have been happy at times when I know they have been go through a rough patch. I have often thought they are cold hearted, bit now I can see they are smiling regardless and making sure they keep going and accepting the bad times.

Lesson 101 continues on the theme of happiness and keeping in that state, the lessons currently are written in a much more human way and actually make more sense than before, which feels so refreshing! I'm really enjoying them.

Lesson 99

Lesson 99 is very similar to yesterday although rather than forgiving yourself for mistakes the lesson teaches you should always give forgiveness to others.  Just like yesterday, others don't make mistakes on purpose and I'm sure that the intention was never to cause distress. Another way to look at it is there is actually nothing to forgive as the intention was never from a bad place.

Today has been beautiful in London, bright blue sky and a cool breeze, today has been an easy day to be grateful and happy. Most of my friends love autumn, I in the past have hated it because it's the start of the downward spiral of the weather and the run up to winter. If you have ever worked early mornings then I am sure you can relate that the freezing cold winter mornings are super hard work! Getting out of bed is torture, scraping the ice off the car windscreen is miserable and walking anywhere with the bitter wind in your face is agony. So autumn has for me never been a time to celebrate.

This autumn I am going to change my mindset about it and give it a chance. Today had an autumn feel to it and it was a gorgeous day. I'm going to enjoy each day and put out of my mind that winter is just around the corner!

Lesson 98

Today's lesson talks about being certain and putting all doubts to one side. Also remembering mistakes aren't mistakes but lessons so we learn from and to be led to the right path.

The lesson is also about turning around guilt. One thing I have never understood about organised religions is guilt. Most religions thrive on making the followers feel guilt about all sorts. Today's lesson states you should never feel guilty about our actions but see them as mistakes.

Mistakes aren't mistakes if they are lessons and I honestly don't believe mistakes are bad. Think about every mistake you have made. Did you go into the mistake with good intentions or bad? Did you realise the outcome would be so bad if you did what you did? I can't believe that anyone would wake up in the morning and set out to purposefully make a mistake.

Think through all the mistakes that are currently worrying or concerning you, think why it happened and then forgive yourself and know your actions came from a good place.  

Lesson 97

Lesson 97 is simple - to concentrate on being 'spirit'

One of my favorite quotes from Dr Wayne Dyer is

“We are not human beings in search of a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.”

I spent time today on my own in a park reading and appreciating my surroundings. I concentrated in being in the moment. Out of nowhere appeared a dog. I love animals especially dogs and this one just decided to befriend me. It sat at my feet and looked for strokes and just chilled out with me for about an hour.

What a lovely hour spent! I found it's owner, but I secretly wished it was a stray so I could have taken him home!

During the time in the park I was reading an i-book that was sent to me for free, it's a book by Kyle Gray who I listen to on Hay House Radio but I have never read any of his material before. His work revolves around Angels.

Do I believe in Angels, I am open minded. As humans we tend to only believe in things we can see or touch, but there are so many things we can't but do accept. Like our soul...everyone surely agrees we have a soul...but where is it?  Therefore I am reading this book with an open mind, in a similar way that I am taking this course.

Lesson 96

Lesson 96 explores the idea that you are not a character on many levels but just one.

Many people, including myself, think that we have at least 2 sides to our character. Most of the times I am lovely and calm but at times I can be angry and cold. I have to accept that is me, but what I need to do is learn that essentially I am, as I should be, a kind and happy person. I have to explore my own person to find out what triggers my anger and unblances my calm. Once that is figured out all I need to do is avoid it!

I was walking in central London today and I walked past a young women who was heavily pregnant. She was crying. I asked her if she was OK, clearly she wasn't but I just had to ask, it just wouldn't have felt right to ignore her. She looked at me to begin with like I was insane for asking, but her features softened and she smiled. She told me she was fine and she walked away. I hope she is fine, I hope she was and I hope like any us can she was just having a wobble.

Driving home I was listening to the radio and a famous magician has written a book about happiness. He was being interviewed about his new venture. One of the things he said to achieve happiness was to lower your expectations.  Whilst I understand the sentiment, I absolutely disagree. Never ever lower your expectations. Do your best at all times and keep striving for more and expect the best will come to you.

Lesson 95 (Again!)

It's taken me a few days to come back to the lessons because I have had gone back to my old ways of finding it easier to stay in a grump! 

How do the lessons know how I am feeling? 

Within lesson 95 there is a line about forgiving yourself if there's a lapse or a failure to follow out instructions. It also goes on to say this should only be regarded as a mistake and this calls just for a correction.

The essence of the lesson is not to see yourself as weak or sinful but to see yourself as whole and limitless.

I took the weekend to collect my thoughts and think about how far I have come in these short months and how hard I have worked. I am not the sort of person to walk away from anything without giving it my best shot, so I am certainly not going to walk away from this course. 

Full attention is required and that's what I will give it.

Lesson 95

I nearly, again, gave up on the lessons.

Life is so busy, hectic and stressful. I have so many lovely moments and then other times I feel like the rug has been pulled from under my feet.

Apologies this is short, I don't feel like I gave enough attention to today's lesson, so I will repeat it again.

I am so determined to do this, but obstacles keep throwing me off course and I am clearly not as strong as I thought. 

All I know is that when I make my happiness the most important thing amazing things happen. When I let everything get on top of me, I spiral downwards. The answer is clear.

Lesson 94

Lesson 94 takes a slightly different direction.

The lesson revolves around accepting oneself as who they are. Encouraging you to let go of the sense of who you should be but be as you are intended which is both happy and peaceful.

I totally agree with this sentiment. As a women, I enjoy looking good but I only do it for myself never because I want to impress. I saw a quote a few days ago which said

'A flower blooms for itself not because someone walks past'

That really made me think about why there is so much pressure on us all, not just women, to look a certain way. Today for example I am wearing a lovely summer dress and high heels whereas on Monday I was in a T-shirt, jeans and flat shoes. I have to be honest I feel so much better when dressed up so I do believe I dress for myself.

As for behaving or feeling in a certain way, which is what I believe this lesson is really about, I do think behavior changes with whom we are dealing with.  There are people, not many but there are some, who just as the expression goes 'rub me up the wrong way'. My reaction to those people are totally different to those who are calm.

This is wrong! My reactions should be mine alone. I should keep calm and relaxed at all times. I actually carried out a little private experiment with someone who I have a difficult relationship with. I was overly nice to her and never once reacted to anything that annoyed me. Although the relationship isn't incredible now, it has improved greatly and the good thing is that I am prioritising my happiness.

Lesson 93

Today's lesson is essentially about finding peace.

I have been in many situations today when I could have been the opposite to peaceful. So many it's not true! I was supposed to having a lovely calm day but ended working a longer day than I thought and not getting any of my day to day chores done.

With my new mind set, I kept thinking about the positives. I earned a few extra pounds (always good) I caught up with some work friends I don't usually see as they work at the other end of the day and I had a pile of ironing to do at home which I didn't have to do, that can always wait until tomorrow.

I really think the key is to concentrate on keeping yourself happy. To make your own happiness your priority. So many times in the past I have done things because I thought it was the right thing to do or I thought it would make someone else happy.

Lesson 92

Todays lesson concentrates on light and again on strength.

After yesterdays wobble I am feeling both strong and weak. Strong because I picked myself up so quickly but weak as I can see how things can still affect me. I am determined to not let anything get in the way of my happiness, but to do that I have to let go of anything that doesn't make me happy or change my view of the situation. 

For example I can't just walk out on my job! There are, like most people experience, many aspects of my work I love, but equally there are many I can't stand. So why have I let the negatives out shine the positives, which I have so many times in the past. I have let one small part of my job ruin all the good. I have worked through that now and I can see the way forward. I am absolutely determined, as today's lesson stresses, not let the darkness take over the light.

As for other aspects of my life, I now feel positive to let go of anything that doesn't make me happy.

The one thing that isn't as easy just to let go of is my terrible back problem which makes me so unhappy, but I am determined to get it fixed and until it is I will not let it get the better of me. I will stop doing anything that aggravates it and not feel bad when the condition prevents me from doing anything and I will no longer feel guilty for asking for help, which I have done so many times in the past!

Maybe yesterdays wobble was the kick up the bottom I needed to force me to refocus.

Lesson 91

Lesson 91 starts with the idea that miracles and vision are linked, but soon turns to strength.

The actual exercise concentrates on reminding oneself that you do have strength, power and certainty.

I like the exercise as it is repetitive and does give some feelings of power.

Sadly, personally, I have had a set back today. I don't know why, because I have been dealing with a lot of my 'issues' calmly and sensibly. Things that's have been getting under my skin so to speak, I have managed to think differently and rationally about. I have no idea why today I temporarily went straight back to my old self and became very upset and lost control of my emotions.

The good news is the feelings only lasted briefly and I brought myself back to my 'new' way of thinking and I am determined to choose only those feelings which make me feel good about myself. I have to find the strength to turn my back on those feelings which make me feel frustrated, angry and especially out of control.

Tomorrow's lesson is an extension on today's so I'm hoping for even more strength.

Review 2 (lessons 81 - 90)

I enjoy these review periods. It's a bit like revising for an exam. I have been going over emotions I have already been through before, but this time I have a greater understanding on how it affects me directly.

The review has made me realise that I, just like everyone else, deserves to be happy. Anything that doesn't make me happy I either walk away from or change my perception of it. During the review period I have had challenges both at work and personally. For all of the challenges I have said to myself before reacting to them, "how should I react to this that keeps my happiness intact"

When I have taken this approach I do think perhaps I seem a pushover or someone who doesn't care but the truth is I care above all else that I stay happy.

Many lovely unexpected things have happened over the last few days. For example my son came home today telling me he had the best day ever at school because he had been voted by his class mates as 'class rep'. Obviously I was bursting with pride.

My parents visited me and even at my age they spoilt me rotten including buying me a couple of beautiful dresses.

And on a dog walk I bumped into and chatted to an actress from one of my favourite television shows and we chatting for ages about our dogs!

I have had a sneaky look ahead to the upcoming lessons and there is a theme of 'light'

Lightness can shut out darkness, but darkness can't shut out the light.

I look forward to tomorrow when the lesson resume!