Lesson 1

I found myself staring at a brick wall today and I started to feel sorry for the wall. Yes I am possibly tired after a busy week, it is Thursday after all, but todays lesson, lesson number 1, is to look at objects around me and say to myself that the object has no meaning. 

The wall was a lovely colour of red, it was very neat and the bricks were uniformed, I started to fight against the lesson which was saying that I couldn't give a meaning to the wall, someone built the wall, someone planned the wall but at the same time many people walk past the wall every day and don't give it second thought. I like this wall, but as I am following the lessons to the letter, I had to accept it means nothing. 

I have been assured by the introduction of the lessons in the 'A Course of Miracles' book that I don't need to believe in the lessons, accept them or welcome them, I simply have to carry out the instructions as I am directed to. Clearly after todays lesson I am happy to discover this as I really don't know what I am supposed to be learning from this first lesson at all!

Next to the brick wall was a wire mesh wall and I found it so much easier to say that had no meaning, I looked at my coat, yes it has no meaning, I looked at my car, yes it has no meaning, I am one of a small number of people who just think of their car as a means to get from one place to another.  

It's day one of the lessons and I accept nothing is going to happen straight away, so I have very little to report, but a strange thing did occur this afternoon. I admit I don't have one of those faces where people or strangers share their problems with. In social situations it's very rare for someone I have never met before to start a conversation with me, I probably have the sort of body language which says 'I am stressed don't you dare talk to me!' So you can imagine my absolute shock when at the school gate a granddad of one of the pupils started a conversation with me. Within moments he was sharing with me he had found out the day before his wife has been given six months to live, she has terminal cancer. I started to speak to him calmly (although inside I was thinking 'don't say something insensitive') and we chatted for some time, I am sure I offered no words of wisdom, but after speaking with him I felt washed with calm. I handled the situation and I didn't have the urge as I normally do to make an excuse to leave and run.

Unsurprisingly I haven't been calm all day! As you know I broadcast travel information on the radio and today there was an 'emergency incident' on the A1 near Archway, sadly the incident revolved around a bridge which is nicknamed, rather insensitively, 'suicide bridge'. Over many years people have died and after a long campaign a fence over 3 meters high was installed. Heartbreakingly though people still die there. One way I gauge how bad travel 

is in situations like this is I browse Twitter. One of the first Tweets I read was a women saying the problem was caused by someone selfish. My blood boiled and I ranted on Twitter about the seriousness of mental health issues.

Overall today I have experienced calm and stress, but it is only day one and I'm in a year long journey.

I haven't looked ahead to tomorrows lesson yet as I am trying to take it one day at a time, but I have a sense of anticipation and I can't work out if that's exciting or petrifying.